[ He listens though. Which is something she didn't do last time when he started doing this at her. His wasn't in anger, just pain but she blacked out before he probably got half way through it. Even knowing that he has a half written letter in his room addressed to her with everything he's had to face doesn't make this any easier, because he still needs to give it to her.
She doesn't know all the details, and he can't blame her for that. He can't blame her for the fact that the image people had of his name, of its significance is far from the truth and that hurts because he's trying to live up to a lie as well. Rei doesn't have that. People don't hear the name "Rei Hino" and think "Oh yes she's that girl who..." She's just another girl to them. Granted, it isn't like that for everyone, no, but it's enough to make things harder.
He's had to lie to Arthur from the start. He's had to fake smiles so he knows all that. But he doesn't want to have to do that everywhere, every hour of the day.
He should have just taken the blanket and slept this off. Especially now that he has to look up to stop himself from crying along with her.
She doesn't know what he's going to do when he goes back. She doesn't know about the vision Rei showed him, where the Great Dragon turns the city to fire.
So instead of saying any of that, he just manages: ] I don't want to go back. [ His eyes shut and he swallows, but it's getting harder to push back tears, because she's right.
It's selfish.
He just wanted something for himself for once and for that to be secure. He wanted her, to live in a bubble where nothing else existed and he could pretend he wasn't the person who had done everything he has, will do everything he will.
His hand moves up to his mouth and he bites down on the skin, squeezes his eyes shut. ] Sorry.
no subject
She doesn't know all the details, and he can't blame her for that. He can't blame her for the fact that the image people had of his name, of its significance is far from the truth and that hurts because he's trying to live up to a lie as well. Rei doesn't have that. People don't hear the name "Rei Hino" and think "Oh yes she's that girl who..." She's just another girl to them. Granted, it isn't like that for everyone, no, but it's enough to make things harder.
He's had to lie to Arthur from the start. He's had to fake smiles so he knows all that. But he doesn't want to have to do that everywhere, every hour of the day.
He should have just taken the blanket and slept this off. Especially now that he has to look up to stop himself from crying along with her.
She doesn't know what he's going to do when he goes back. She doesn't know about the vision Rei showed him, where the Great Dragon turns the city to fire.
So instead of saying any of that, he just manages: ] I don't want to go back. [ His eyes shut and he swallows, but it's getting harder to push back tears, because she's right.
It's selfish.
He just wanted something for himself for once and for that to be secure. He wanted her, to live in a bubble where nothing else existed and he could pretend he wasn't the person who had done everything he has, will do everything he will.
His hand moves up to his mouth and he bites down on the skin, squeezes his eyes shut. ] Sorry.