[ His lip bleeds a little, meaning he has to push himself up a little to press his hand there. The good thing, in all this, is that both his body and heart are durable. The bad thing is that he's also stubborn as hell, sometimes too blunt and insulting and just--
wishes he'd kept his mouth shut.
Biting his lip until it bled seemed like a fitting start for getting angry with himself for bringing it to this point.
He didn't mean it like this... He didn't want it to be like this. ]
...You're... [ He can hear the sobs and that makes this even worse, the raw pain in her voice. He can't feel empathy like she can, but he doesn't need to for this, does he?
He shouldn't have said anything. ] --wrong.
[ Slowly he pushes himself up, feeling a bit sick now that it's come to this. To her curled up in a ball crying her eyes out because he tried to point out that he just wanted the kisses to exist without anything else coming into it. Once he's up though, he moves a little quicker. First, shifting onto his knees, ignoring the aches in his body as he pulls himself until he's in front of her. His hands reach out for hers, pulling them both away from her skin. He looks down at the red lines that have formed there, eyes flashing as he murmurs a few words softly: ] Þurhhæle dolgbenn. [ With the state she's worked herself up into she probably won't notice the difference -- but he has enough dealing with the emotional state he's caused rather than the physical, too. ]
I think I should have worded that a lot better, shouldn't I? [ There's no sarcasm anymore, no biting words or insults. It's weird to think that fifteen minutes ago she was tackling him into a hug and he was laughing. He can't say she isn't beautiful even like this, mind you, but her smile is a lot better. Like when they were on the couch before Ai walked in. Like at the cafe when he flustered her then and there too. It's only been a month, but he's seen her for so many days of that it feels unnatural to have to take this many steps back.
He's too fucking stubborn to let that happen either, not when he'd wanted to just turn back towards her, to take this further by pressing his lips against hers instead of against her cheek. But they've both misread so much. Both been too unsure. He's a fairly private person by nature. Him actually coming out to so many people here only took place because his name is apparently famous. It's hard to hide it with all the danger and even then he can be free here. There's a lot he hasn't said though, about Arthur. About Gwen. About things he knows that will lie ahead in his future.
He isn't stupid, doing something like this. Something with her. It goes against everything he's told himself that his life was built for--for Camelot, for Arthur--but he can't stop himself when one of his hands slowly releases one of hers to try and slide it under her face, trying to get her to look at him. When he manages it, he asks her one question: ] What does a kiss mean to you, Athena?
[ He tries to wipe at her eye, tries to give her comfort because between her downing two cups of wine, him one, him hitting her head and this... flurry of emotions, he's worried how much they're going to backtrack if he doesn't save it asap.
why did i choose this route... can i get a retake...........
wishes he'd kept his mouth shut.
Biting his lip until it bled seemed like a fitting start for getting angry with himself for bringing it to this point.
He didn't mean it like this... He didn't want it to be like this. ]
...You're... [ He can hear the sobs and that makes this even worse, the raw pain in her voice. He can't feel empathy like she can, but he doesn't need to for this, does he?
He shouldn't have said anything. ] --wrong.
[ Slowly he pushes himself up, feeling a bit sick now that it's come to this. To her curled up in a ball crying her eyes out because he tried to point out that he just wanted the kisses to exist without anything else coming into it. Once he's up though, he moves a little quicker. First, shifting onto his knees, ignoring the aches in his body as he pulls himself until he's in front of her. His hands reach out for hers, pulling them both away from her skin. He looks down at the red lines that have formed there, eyes flashing as he murmurs a few words softly: ] Þurhhæle dolgbenn. [ With the state she's worked herself up into she probably won't notice the difference -- but he has enough dealing with the emotional state he's caused rather than the physical, too. ]
I think I should have worded that a lot better, shouldn't I? [ There's no sarcasm anymore, no biting words or insults. It's weird to think that fifteen minutes ago she was tackling him into a hug and he was laughing. He can't say she isn't beautiful even like this, mind you, but her smile is a lot better. Like when they were on the couch before Ai walked in. Like at the cafe when he flustered her then and there too. It's only been a month, but he's seen her for so many days of that it feels unnatural to have to take this many steps back.
He's too fucking stubborn to let that happen either, not when he'd wanted to just turn back towards her, to take this further by pressing his lips against hers instead of against her cheek. But they've both misread so much. Both been too unsure. He's a fairly private person by nature. Him actually coming out to so many people here only took place because his name is apparently famous. It's hard to hide it with all the danger and even then he can be free here. There's a lot he hasn't said though, about Arthur. About Gwen. About things he knows that will lie ahead in his future.
He isn't stupid, doing something like this. Something with her. It goes against everything he's told himself that his life was built for--for Camelot, for Arthur--but he can't stop himself when one of his hands slowly releases one of hers to try and slide it under her face, trying to get her to look at him. When he manages it, he asks her one question: ] What does a kiss mean to you, Athena?
[ He tries to wipe at her eye, tries to give her comfort because between her downing two cups of wine, him one, him hitting her head and this... flurry of emotions, he's worried how much they're going to backtrack if he doesn't save it asap.
He doesn't want to lose her. He refuses to. ]