[ she folds her knees close to her and just sulks. this is so stupid. she's so stupid. she knows she's right when she told iris and yu that she doesn't want him to know. but somehow, that just makes things hurt right now.
maybe she should just tell him, though. he's going to go away, anyway. not literally, but the bond that they've shared this past month would probably be severed. that's okay. she's broken ties with people before, so this wouldn't be a first.
and the more she thinks about it, the more she wants to cry. she hides her face when the tears start falling, but the sobs she makes can't be controlled. they aren't loud, but it's similar to a child's cries when the toy they really like's been taken away from them. ]
This is so stupid! [ it's not often that she screams, but she does this time around, banging her head once on her knees. ] I just wanted things to be fun and exciting, but I keep ruining it.
[ it's like when she pulled a prank on simon just to spend more time with him. he got legitimately upset with her, which made her heart ache... this is the same kind of feeling. she's just too much, and probably nobody can keep up with her. maybe that's why. and maybe that's why simon went to the nexus. she just shouldn't... be with anybody in this way. she just shouldn't like anybody. ]
I really meant it when I told you I wanted you to be the happiest, but I seriously can't do it. [ her nails dig deep into her skin and she sighs in frustration. ] I don't know why... I keep trying... because I really like you...
why did i choose this route... can i get a retake...........
[ His lip bleeds a little, meaning he has to push himself up a little to press his hand there. The good thing, in all this, is that both his body and heart are durable. The bad thing is that he's also stubborn as hell, sometimes too blunt and insulting and just--
wishes he'd kept his mouth shut.
Biting his lip until it bled seemed like a fitting start for getting angry with himself for bringing it to this point.
He didn't mean it like this... He didn't want it to be like this. ]
...You're... [ He can hear the sobs and that makes this even worse, the raw pain in her voice. He can't feel empathy like she can, but he doesn't need to for this, does he?
He shouldn't have said anything. ] --wrong.
[ Slowly he pushes himself up, feeling a bit sick now that it's come to this. To her curled up in a ball crying her eyes out because he tried to point out that he just wanted the kisses to exist without anything else coming into it. Once he's up though, he moves a little quicker. First, shifting onto his knees, ignoring the aches in his body as he pulls himself until he's in front of her. His hands reach out for hers, pulling them both away from her skin. He looks down at the red lines that have formed there, eyes flashing as he murmurs a few words softly: ] Þurhhæle dolgbenn. [ With the state she's worked herself up into she probably won't notice the difference -- but he has enough dealing with the emotional state he's caused rather than the physical, too. ]
I think I should have worded that a lot better, shouldn't I? [ There's no sarcasm anymore, no biting words or insults. It's weird to think that fifteen minutes ago she was tackling him into a hug and he was laughing. He can't say she isn't beautiful even like this, mind you, but her smile is a lot better. Like when they were on the couch before Ai walked in. Like at the cafe when he flustered her then and there too. It's only been a month, but he's seen her for so many days of that it feels unnatural to have to take this many steps back.
He's too fucking stubborn to let that happen either, not when he'd wanted to just turn back towards her, to take this further by pressing his lips against hers instead of against her cheek. But they've both misread so much. Both been too unsure. He's a fairly private person by nature. Him actually coming out to so many people here only took place because his name is apparently famous. It's hard to hide it with all the danger and even then he can be free here. There's a lot he hasn't said though, about Arthur. About Gwen. About things he knows that will lie ahead in his future.
He isn't stupid, doing something like this. Something with her. It goes against everything he's told himself that his life was built for--for Camelot, for Arthur--but he can't stop himself when one of his hands slowly releases one of hers to try and slide it under her face, trying to get her to look at him. When he manages it, he asks her one question: ] What does a kiss mean to you, Athena?
[ He tries to wipe at her eye, tries to give her comfort because between her downing two cups of wine, him one, him hitting her head and this... flurry of emotions, he's worried how much they're going to backtrack if he doesn't save it asap.
[ [ she can barely hear him over the sound of her own heart throbbing, as well as her own sobs. she can't even look at him without crying some more. this is pathetic. she looks so pathetic right now.
and she's regretting everything. she wishes she could have just grown up as quickly as she wanted to. studying and graduating didn't really do much for her level of maturity, and it's why liking someone ends up with her being dumbstruck and acting so immaturely.
so she bites her lip hard to stop herself from sobbing. she even shakes her head a few times just to get him to stop looking at her, but that obviously doesn't work. things usually go well for her when she wings things, so why couldn't this be the same?
but eventually, she manages to heel and her sobs slow down. she stops crying. she says nothing for a while, a tooth still sinking into her lower lip. ]
Something... [ silence. she clears her throat. ] For someone you like...
[ Of course it doesn't work. For him, it's important that she knows he isn't going anywhere. For one thing, Athena is a dear friend above all else. Above the weird way she makes his heart pound, how she makes his palms sweat when they're close, how she makes him laugh over the dumbest things.
She's a friend, and he isn't going to ruin everything over a stupid misunderstanding.
His other hand lets go of hers, both palms against her face now as he tries to smear away the tears. It's only when her face is dry enough, he leans forward until (while still holding her face, cradling it tenderly, he presses his forehead to hers. ]
It's for someone who you treasure, who is important to you. Someone... [ A slow exhale follows, his thumbs swipe again, palms heating up her face. ] ...you don't want to lose.
[ His voice goes quiet, just a whisper as he hopes so much that she understands it when he says: ] I just didn't want it to lose that meaning. Not with you.
[ she shakes her head again, trying to convince him that he doesn't get it. she wishes she could just be a bit sad right now because this just feels so heavy, but she can't. she just gets absolutely crestfallen by everything, even those that are the least bit saddening. she sniffs as she holds back a sob, and she clears her throat again before she looks him in the eye.
if there's a look of compassion with a mix of seriousness one can give, then that is what athena is giving him. and then she shakes her head again. she knows what to say now this time around, but she just can't seem to speak.
so she closes her eyes and breathes in. this should calm her down. and once she feels like she's composed enough-- ]
I know that. That's why it's just you. [ she's crying again. ] And I never would have done it if I didn't mean it.
Stop deciding that for yourself--it isn't stupid. [ Well her bawling like this probably is a little bit, but there's no way he's saying anything that awful while she's like this???
He pulls himself up a bit then, and at first it probably feels like he's going to pull away. Against all odds, however, he leans to press a kiss against her forehead, holding it there.
Quietly, against her skin he says only a few words: ] It's just you, too.
[ merlin don't even think it??? just how horrible can you be...
she sniffs again when he kisses her forehead and whispers, wanting to cry even louder now. but at least she won't cry because she's sad. she still refuses to acknowledge what he says until he literally says Something, but those words do comfort her. her heart might already be sinking, but it begins to flutter now.
but she doesn't cry. even if widget is crying. she wants to smile, too, but she doesn't. not yet... not when she could ruin things again. somehow, though, being like this and hearing those words make her feel better. ]
Okay...
[ a nod, then she finally looks at him. ]
I mean this, too.
[ she shifts into an almost seiza position before she stretches and cranes her neck upwards to give him a quick peck on the lips.
and then she realises what she just did, and she backs away slowly, her hands covering her face. she should just bolt... in fact, begins to put on her shoes again (it's definitely taking a while, thanks shoelaces.) ]
I didn't do anything! It was Widget!
I JUST WANTED A NICE MOMENT WHERE SHE WASNT BAWLING OK ... no cho chang x harry potter kisses here
[ Pretty horrible, sometimes. Think of the hell you put him through during times like this???
He thinks she's going to cry again for a moment when it all goes silent, but when it feels like the air is calmer he lets out a small, slow, breath of relief. ]
Thank you.
[ For what??? It probably seems misplaced when he's leaning back, finally pulling his hands away to give her space.
Then it feels like time stops--or maybe he makes it stop, he isn't sure when his mouth is tingling, hot like the back of his neck then cool like a rush of air. His lips part and he freezes, a little dazed. It definitely isn't like the time Gwen got overwhelmed when she realised he wasn't dead and kissed him. At all. It's gentle, light.
And not enough.
Especially so when she's backing away like there's a fire or something. His hand reaches out for her arm, stops her from getting her laces fastened. His other hand delves into her hair, moving to hold her head in place and now maybe time is going too fast when he pushes forward until he kisses her. It isn't short and sweet like the kiss she just gave, it's firm, hands shaking with his lips burning, emotions flooding even to his fingertips.
It lasts a good 10 seconds before he breaks contact, mouth hovering close to hers. Breathlessly, he says: ]
[ when he grabs her, she almost wants to pull away as she screams and shouts. she refuses to believe it... why would anybody like someone so confusing as her, anyway? and for someone she likes to like her back -- it's happened before, but she's definitely been rejected more times. a cute guy from middle school gives her a love letter? she swoons and starts thinking about their future together.
until she realises that the letter isn't even for her, but for her best friend.
so this is another one of those dreams that happen while she's still awake. she knows the kiss is real, though. merlin said it himself, but...
she's so in denial.
her emotions as so all over the place too, and it shows with how widget switches himself off. now it looks like she has a black pendant hanging on her neck. she's feeling light, and not in a good way. she just wants to lay down and close her eyes to try and relax. but it doesn't seem likely right now... not like this. . . why couldn't she just run away? she's said her piece, and maybe iris and yu would be happy. and she wishes she could be happy too, but she refuses to. not when she could mess things up again. not when she could literally hurt him again. ]
Don't. . . [ she tugs on his shirt, averting eye contact. ] go, okay? I'll listen.
[ please still be her friend even if she's an emotional trainwreck. ]
[ His hand that had lodged in her hair releases now she isn't going to run away, and instead of going anywhere, he pulls her into himself. Or at least he tries to. The whole situation is a bit messy right now, considering she's practically got one shoe on and one shoe off or whatever (he isn't looking down to check) and she's been crying and his heart aches from all this strain. ]
Who is the one fighting to put on their shoes? I'm not going anywhere. [ Look if he can forgive her for trying to suffocate him, he can definitely forgive her for whatever hot mess this has been. Athena, please??? ]
Just lay down with me first? [ His hands move to take her hands, curling over them as they grip his shirt. ] We can try and get comfortable again first.
athena can't even put up an argument. she really didn't want to leave. but she did say she'll listen to him now, so she nods slowly. she probably looks like a wreck, but that's okay. she's embarrassed herself so many times... this is normal. ]
... I want to look at the stars again.
[ can they start over, please? that would be a lot better. ]
[ That's because Athena is a hot, hot mess. 95% of the time.
He's relieved when she agrees to it, shifting to make sure he'll hit the pillow when he lays back again. His hand stays holding hers, trying to draw her down and this time he tries to keep her against him. While he lets her move so she's on her back, looking at the sky, he lays on his side. One arm tucks under her neck, between her and the pilow, the other moves hair from her face. A gentle touch. ]
You know, for a while I wasn't really sure what was happening. Everything has been a bit of a blur. I mean I was dumped in a trash chute, woke up in a swamp where the mud was sinking, been followed by a creepy mask, lived through that place and-- [ Only he stops there, clears his throat and shifts to the positives. ] but I also met some amazing people here. People who have heard of me already, people who haven't. People with magic, people without, but don't mind it.
WE ALREADY HAVE CHEESE IN THE BASKET YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ONE TOO.
she turns to face him, but is having difficulty looking him in the eye. after saying something like that, who would? she was already red because of the alcohol, though, but now she's even redder. her skin is the same shade as her hair. and because she forgot to do it earlier, she just kicks off her boot with her other foot. at least... that's much easier to do than respond to this.
okay, okay. she can do this. deep breaths, athena. as apollo always says!!! i'm fine!!! ]
I still don't get it. . . You're weird, and you can be mean to me, but there was just one day I couldn't stop thinking about you, you know? How warm you are...
But there's that delighted happy thrum again now that she's stopped crying and is laying down calmly, kicking her boot off to stay there for now. The back of his hand smooths over her cheek, feels the warmth. ]
I'm not the only one who is weird here, you know. You let me throw tomatoes at you, after all. [ Not like that's a... thing. ] But... I think under all of that you have a good heart.
I just... want to stay with you. While we're here, in this place.
That! [ DEEP BREATHS. she puffs her cheeks and pokes him on the cheek hard. ] I lost, so I had to!
Even though you cheated in the end.
[ it looks like she's back to normal, at least, if she's able to retaliate in that manner. ]
We. . . can do that, though... I mean. [ is she even making any sense right now? she bites her lip as she tries to look at him, but she ends up staring at the bridge of his nose, instead. smooth... ] I want that.
[ It hurts, of course it does, but he still laughs. Part of it is from relief, honestly. Unlike some people he hasn't frantically texted S.O.S. signals across the colony.
He's hinted about it to Shigeru, but even then... that's it.
Naturally, when she bites her lip his hand drops from her hair, thumb dragging over her lip to try and stop her from injuring herself. His eyes flicker to her mouth, then back to her eyes. There's definitely a giddy, elated feeling now. ]
Does that mean... [ He pauses, giving her a ridiculously cheeky grin (nottalking) ] ...that I can kiss you again?
that grin is dumb, though, but she can't help but feel flustered. this is just Too Much. she still can't believe this is happening. she must be so drunk right now. (she's only had two glasses. where are those glasses, anyway... hopefully they're still intact, ai would kill her.) ]
No. It's my turn.
[ a beat, then she grabs him by the collar and pulls him closer, practically returning the kiss he gave her earlier. one that's warm and loving.
her brain shuts off at this point and she just lets her instincts kick in. she should really just listen to him, to the music of his heart, because it probably knows better than she does.
it's like a meteor really did pass them earlier. ]
He's happy, and at least the storm seems to be completely over now that they can go back to this. It's easier to feel a little more secure in it when the world, their world, seems impossible to pop inside this blanket fort they've got going on. The glasses are probably to the side, he can probably fix them with magic even if they aren't so no worries there.
He might worry for his heart soon enough though when she grabs him and pulls him in. His hand flails until it finds the floor behind her just to make sure he doesn't flop right onto her, his other arm shifting slightly to give himself some leverage. Once he's stable, the hand that reached behind her moves to press against the side of her neck, grazing her jaw and his thumb slides over her ear.
His head tilts, literally feeling his mind shut down to feeling alone. His chest aches, but in a good way, and he doesn't want to let go. At all. Even just to hold her for the rest of the evening would feel like a dream come true. ]
[ there's a tingling sensation when she feels his hand on her neck, as if she's being tickled, but she makes nothing of it. she just tries as much to keep her hands on his collar, though one hand ends up sliding to his shoulder to squeeze it. and while she wants this to last forever, she lets him go as she opens her eyes and slowly pulls away.
her eyes are wide, and are likely reflecting merlin's face. she looks at him in astonishment, her mouth still slightly open and pursed. and then she blinks once, twice... he's still there. and he isn't going away.
she wants to say something just to break the ice, but she can't think of anything clever. but what does come out of her mouth is a soft "wow".
and she starts laughing. it's as if the once wilted bright and cheerful sunflower has faced the sun again in all its warmth. ]
[ There are times when words aren't necessary though, and it definitely feels like that when she pulls away to break the kiss and he simply smiles at her. There's literally no motion that will suggest he's leaving any time soon. Even before, when they'd had that stupid misunderstanding he hadn't planned on leaving.
While she can hear their hearts, he imagines hearing her laugh like this probably gives a similar feeling. It's lighter, makes his expression soften because it really does make her shine when she's like this.
He licks the edge of his lower lip and somehow can't seem to stop himself when he lets out a soft breathy laugh too, followed by: ] You're such an apple.
Wha— [ she almost chokes, and she turns to the side as she coughs. jesus. she didn't think she sounded ridiculous when she said it, but it sure sounds so foolish when he says it.
but it's a good thing that she's more of a silly person than a serious one. ] What?
[ He can't help it, he really does laugh this time, feeling all the tension and anxiety from before leave his body. It is stupid, isn't it? But he honestly can't think straight. That could be problematic. ]
I thought it was supposed to be a compliment? [ He makes a small noise in the back of his throat once the laugh dies down, peers at her as his teeth run over his lower lip. He finishes it with: ] Or maybe a strawberry.
Yeah, [ heh... that sounds like a fun idea. the smile she makes is so bright, and the same can be said with the way she laughs. she can really be like a child sometimes. ] next time.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ugh i'm in pain
maybe she should just tell him, though. he's going to go away, anyway. not literally, but the bond that they've shared this past month would probably be severed. that's okay. she's broken ties with people before, so this wouldn't be a first.
and the more she thinks about it, the more she wants to cry. she hides her face when the tears start falling, but the sobs she makes can't be controlled. they aren't loud, but it's similar to a child's cries when the toy they really like's been taken away from them. ]
This is so stupid! [ it's not often that she screams, but she does this time around, banging her head once on her knees. ] I just wanted things to be fun and exciting, but I keep ruining it.
[ it's like when she pulled a prank on simon just to spend more time with him. he got legitimately upset with her, which made her heart ache... this is the same kind of feeling. she's just too much, and probably nobody can keep up with her. maybe that's why. and maybe that's why simon went to the nexus. she just shouldn't... be with anybody in this way. she just shouldn't like anybody. ]
I really meant it when I told you I wanted you to be the happiest, but I seriously can't do it. [ her nails dig deep into her skin and she sighs in frustration. ] I don't know why... I keep trying... because I really like you...
why did i choose this route... can i get a retake...........
wishes he'd kept his mouth shut.
Biting his lip until it bled seemed like a fitting start for getting angry with himself for bringing it to this point.
He didn't mean it like this... He didn't want it to be like this. ]
...You're... [ He can hear the sobs and that makes this even worse, the raw pain in her voice. He can't feel empathy like she can, but he doesn't need to for this, does he?
He shouldn't have said anything. ] --wrong.
[ Slowly he pushes himself up, feeling a bit sick now that it's come to this. To her curled up in a ball crying her eyes out because he tried to point out that he just wanted the kisses to exist without anything else coming into it. Once he's up though, he moves a little quicker. First, shifting onto his knees, ignoring the aches in his body as he pulls himself until he's in front of her. His hands reach out for hers, pulling them both away from her skin. He looks down at the red lines that have formed there, eyes flashing as he murmurs a few words softly: ] Þurhhæle dolgbenn. [ With the state she's worked herself up into she probably won't notice the difference -- but he has enough dealing with the emotional state he's caused rather than the physical, too. ]
I think I should have worded that a lot better, shouldn't I? [ There's no sarcasm anymore, no biting words or insults. It's weird to think that fifteen minutes ago she was tackling him into a hug and he was laughing. He can't say she isn't beautiful even like this, mind you, but her smile is a lot better. Like when they were on the couch before Ai walked in. Like at the cafe when he flustered her then and there too. It's only been a month, but he's seen her for so many days of that it feels unnatural to have to take this many steps back.
He's too fucking stubborn to let that happen either, not when he'd wanted to just turn back towards her, to take this further by pressing his lips against hers instead of against her cheek. But they've both misread so much. Both been too unsure. He's a fairly private person by nature. Him actually coming out to so many people here only took place because his name is apparently famous. It's hard to hide it with all the danger and even then he can be free here. There's a lot he hasn't said though, about Arthur. About Gwen. About things he knows that will lie ahead in his future.
He isn't stupid, doing something like this. Something with her. It goes against everything he's told himself that his life was built for--for Camelot, for Arthur--but he can't stop himself when one of his hands slowly releases one of hers to try and slide it under her face, trying to get her to look at him. When he manages it, he asks her one question: ] What does a kiss mean to you, Athena?
[ He tries to wipe at her eye, tries to give her comfort because between her downing two cups of wine, him one, him hitting her head and this... flurry of emotions, he's worried how much they're going to backtrack if he doesn't save it asap.
He doesn't want to lose her. He refuses to. ]
too late...
and she's regretting everything. she wishes she could have just grown up as quickly as she wanted to. studying and graduating didn't really do much for her level of maturity, and it's why liking someone ends up with her being dumbstruck and acting so immaturely.
so she bites her lip hard to stop herself from sobbing. she even shakes her head a few times just to get him to stop looking at her, but that obviously doesn't work. things usually go well for her when she wings things, so why couldn't this be the same?
but eventually, she manages to heel and her sobs slow down. she stops crying. she says nothing for a while, a tooth still sinking into her lower lip. ]
Something... [ silence. she clears her throat. ] For someone you like...
wails......
She's a friend, and he isn't going to ruin everything over a stupid misunderstanding.
His other hand lets go of hers, both palms against her face now as he tries to smear away the tears. It's only when her face is dry enough, he leans forward until (while still holding her face, cradling it tenderly, he presses his forehead to hers. ]
It's for someone who you treasure, who is important to you. Someone... [ A slow exhale follows, his thumbs swipe again, palms heating up her face. ] ...you don't want to lose.
[ His voice goes quiet, just a whisper as he hopes so much that she understands it when he says: ] I just didn't want it to lose that meaning. Not with you.
I can't breathe
if there's a look of compassion with a mix of seriousness one can give, then that is what athena is giving him. and then she shakes her head again. she knows what to say now this time around, but she just can't seem to speak.
so she closes her eyes and breathes in. this should calm her down. and once she feels like she's composed enough-- ]
I know that. That's why it's just you. [ she's crying again. ] And I never would have done it if I didn't mean it.
I really meant it. It's so stupid.
gives you a paper bag.... takes one for herself
He pulls himself up a bit then, and at first it probably feels like he's going to pull away. Against all odds, however, he leans to press a kiss against her forehead, holding it there.
Quietly, against her skin he says only a few words: ] It's just you, too.
I feel like i'm the thirstier one between us rn
she sniffs again when he kisses her forehead and whispers, wanting to cry even louder now. but at least she won't cry because she's sad. she still refuses to acknowledge what he says until he literally says Something, but those words do comfort her. her heart might already be sinking, but it begins to flutter now.
but she doesn't cry. even if widget is crying. she wants to smile, too, but she doesn't. not yet... not when she could ruin things again. somehow, though, being like this and hearing those words make her feel better. ]
Okay...
[ a nod, then she finally looks at him. ]
I mean this, too.
[ she shifts into an almost seiza position before she stretches and cranes her neck upwards to give him a quick peck on the lips.
and then she realises what she just did, and she backs away slowly, her hands covering her face. she should just bolt... in fact, begins to put on her shoes again (it's definitely taking a while, thanks shoelaces.) ]
I didn't do anything! It was Widget!
I JUST WANTED A NICE MOMENT WHERE SHE WASNT BAWLING OK ... no cho chang x harry potter kisses here
He thinks she's going to cry again for a moment when it all goes silent, but when it feels like the air is calmer he lets out a small, slow, breath of relief. ]
Thank you.
[ For what??? It probably seems misplaced when he's leaning back, finally pulling his hands away to give her space.
Then it feels like time stops--or maybe he makes it stop, he isn't sure when his mouth is tingling, hot like the back of his neck then cool like a rush of air. His lips part and he freezes, a little dazed. It definitely isn't like the time Gwen got overwhelmed when she realised he wasn't dead and kissed him. At all. It's gentle, light.
And not enough.
Especially so when she's backing away like there's a fire or something. His hand reaches out for her arm, stops her from getting her laces fastened. His other hand delves into her hair, moving to hold her head in place and now maybe time is going too fast when he pushes forward until he kisses her. It isn't short and sweet like the kiss she just gave, it's firm, hands shaking with his lips burning, emotions flooding even to his fingertips.
It lasts a good 10 seconds before he breaks contact, mouth hovering close to hers. Breathlessly, he says: ]
Are you ever going to listen to anything I say?
[ ah. . . ]
I ALMOST REPLIED WITH MY YATA JOURNAL fadksgsr
until she realises that the letter isn't even for her, but for her best friend.
so this is another one of those dreams that happen while she's still awake. she knows the kiss is real, though. merlin said it himself, but...
she's so in denial.
her emotions as so all over the place too, and it shows with how widget switches himself off. now it looks like she has a black pendant hanging on her neck. she's feeling light, and not in a good way. she just wants to lay down and close her eyes to try and relax. but it doesn't seem likely right now... not like this. . . why couldn't she just run away? she's said her piece, and maybe iris and yu would be happy. and she wishes she could be happy too, but she refuses to. not when she could mess things up again. not when she could literally hurt him again. ]
Don't. . . [ she tugs on his shirt, averting eye contact. ] go, okay? I'll listen.
[ please still be her friend even if she's an emotional trainwreck. ]
JESUS.........................
Who is the one fighting to put on their shoes? I'm not going anywhere. [ Look if he can forgive her for trying to suffocate him, he can definitely forgive her for whatever hot mess this has been. Athena, please??? ]
Just lay down with me first? [ His hands move to take her hands, curling over them as they grip his shirt. ] We can try and get comfortable again first.
you got the wrong ginger
athena can't even put up an argument. she really didn't want to leave. but she did say she'll listen to him now, so she nods slowly. she probably looks like a wreck, but that's okay. she's embarrassed herself so many times... this is normal. ]
... I want to look at the stars again.
[ can they start over, please? that would be a lot better. ]
sWEATS.... more like a chihuahua...
He's relieved when she agrees to it, shifting to make sure he'll hit the pillow when he lays back again. His hand stays holding hers, trying to draw her down and this time he tries to keep her against him. While he lets her move so she's on her back, looking at the sky, he lays on his side. One arm tucks under her neck, between her and the pilow, the other moves hair from her face. A gentle touch. ]
You know, for a while I wasn't really sure what was happening. Everything has been a bit of a blur. I mean I was dumped in a trash chute, woke up in a swamp where the mud was sinking, been followed by a creepy mask, lived through that place and-- [ Only he stops there, clears his throat and shifts to the positives. ] but I also met some amazing people here. People who have heard of me already, people who haven't. People with magic, people without, but don't mind it.
I met you.
R U D E
WE ALREADY HAVE CHEESE IN THE BASKET YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ONE TOO.
she turns to face him, but is having difficulty looking him in the eye. after saying something like that, who would? she was already red because of the alcohol, though, but now she's even redder. her skin is the same shade as her hair. and because she forgot to do it earlier, she just kicks off her boot with her other foot. at least... that's much easier to do than respond to this.
okay, okay. she can do this. deep breaths, athena. as apollo always says!!! i'm fine!!! ]
I still don't get it. . . You're weird, and you can be mean to me, but there was just one day I couldn't stop thinking about you, you know? How warm you are...
I'm glad I met you, Merlin.
sGSDGSDGSDGDGS
But there's that delighted happy thrum again now that she's stopped crying and is laying down calmly, kicking her boot off to stay there for now. The back of his hand smooths over her cheek, feels the warmth. ]
I'm not the only one who is weird here, you know. You let me throw tomatoes at you, after all. [ Not like that's a... thing. ] But... I think under all of that you have a good heart.
I just... want to stay with you. While we're here, in this place.
I want to stay by your side.
[ Well at least he isn't asking her to elope ok ]
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Even though you cheated in the end.
[ it looks like she's back to normal, at least, if she's able to retaliate in that manner. ]
We. . . can do that, though... I mean. [ is she even making any sense right now? she bites her lip as she tries to look at him, but she ends up staring at the bridge of his nose, instead. smooth... ] I want that.
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He's hinted about it to Shigeru, but even then... that's it.
Naturally, when she bites her lip his hand drops from her hair, thumb dragging over her lip to try and stop her from injuring herself. His eyes flicker to her mouth, then back to her eyes. There's definitely a giddy, elated feeling now. ]
Does that mean... [ He pauses, giving her a ridiculously cheeky grin
(nottalking)] ...that I can kiss you again?no subject
that grin is dumb, though, but she can't help but feel flustered. this is just Too Much. she still can't believe this is happening. she must be so drunk right now. (she's only had two glasses. where are those glasses, anyway... hopefully they're still intact, ai would kill her.) ]
No. It's my turn.
[ a beat, then she grabs him by the collar and pulls him closer, practically returning the kiss he gave her earlier. one that's warm and loving.
her brain shuts off at this point and she just lets her instincts kick in. she should really just listen to him, to the music of his heart, because it probably knows better than she does.
it's like a meteor really did pass them earlier. ]
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He's happy, and at least the storm seems to be completely over now that they can go back to this. It's easier to feel a little more secure in it when the world, their world, seems impossible to pop inside this blanket fort they've got going on. The glasses are probably to the side, he can probably fix them with magic even if they aren't so no worries there.
He might worry for his heart soon enough though when she grabs him and pulls him in. His hand flails until it finds the floor behind her just to make sure he doesn't flop right onto her, his other arm shifting slightly to give himself some leverage. Once he's stable, the hand that reached behind her moves to press against the side of her neck, grazing her jaw and his thumb slides over her ear.
His head tilts, literally feeling his mind shut down to feeling alone. His chest aches, but in a good way, and he doesn't want to let go. At all. Even just to hold her for the rest of the evening would feel like a dream come true. ]
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her eyes are wide, and are likely reflecting merlin's face. she looks at him in astonishment, her mouth still slightly open and pursed. and then she blinks once, twice... he's still there. and he isn't going away.
she wants to say something just to break the ice, but she can't think of anything clever. but what does come out of her mouth is a soft "wow".
and she starts laughing. it's as if the once wilted bright and cheerful sunflower has faced the sun again in all its warmth. ]
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While she can hear their hearts, he imagines hearing her laugh like this probably gives a similar feeling. It's lighter, makes his expression soften because it really does make her shine when she's like this.
He licks the edge of his lower lip and somehow can't seem to stop himself when he lets out a soft breathy laugh too, followed by: ] You're such an apple.
[ ???? yeah. ok. ]
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but it's a good thing that she's more of a silly person than a serious one. ] What?
I'm more of an orange, than anything.
[ and oranges, to her, are the best fruit. ]
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I thought it was supposed to be a compliment? [ He makes a small noise in the back of his throat once the laugh dies down, peers at her as his teeth run over his lower lip. He finishes it with: ] Or maybe a strawberry.
[ delicious :9 ]
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Strawberries are okay, I guess. They're really good with cream.
[ she means the fruits and not her FDSAFSGSFH ]
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Maybe next time... we can have some of those.
[ The food................... not her. sure nikki. ]
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What's your favourite fruit, anyway?
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