[ He only watches out of the corner of his eyes, staying quiet while she moves to take the juice and drinks some of it, then when she puts it back in its place on the table.
When she's done, he shakes his head. ]
You have nothing to apologise for, but I'm-- [ He takes a deep breath, and he really doesn't want to leave while she's still upset either. But this isn't fair anymore, is it? ] --going to go for a bit. Not because of what you think, but I told you before that I'd write things down for you, didn't I?
It isn't fair that you have to keep having this blind faith in me. I should have only been happy you got back safely. It should have been the only emotion you could hear.
[ His heart is probably screaming out as he swallows tight. ]
I wish you could see I'm really not as good as you think I am. I want to be, I'm trying to be, but I'm not. What kind of person makes someone they love cry this much? [ It's brief, but his hand twitches and moves up slightly, as if he's going to reach for her face, but then it flops right back down again. ]
That's okay... [ the crying, she means. she doesn't look at him and continues to embrace her legs, thinking about how relationships actually work. she's grown up without a father so she doesn't know how a mother and father should be like, but she knows well enough from her studies that couples fight and it only makes them grow and makes their relationship stronger.
this wasn't a fight by any means, but athena sure did fight for what she believed in. and she's going to continue doing it. if merlin was being selfish earlier, she sure is being selfish now.
It isn't okay. [ He doesn't want her to believe that, because that only opens a horrible can of worms for the future. He's never seen a mother and father together except for peeks outside either. To his knowledge, his father abandoned them and he wasn't able to get to close to other people either.
It's a challenge for the both of them, but in the end it should hopefully make them stronger.
His hand slowly curls over hers and his eyes shut slowly. ] I don't want to, but... I don't want to keep upsetting you either.
[ You think you do. But that would be way too cruel to say. He can't bring himself to do that.
This time he lets his hand move from hers to slide it through her hair. He's stopped trying to squash everything down now which is probably only making things worse. He just.
He doesn't know. ] Come here?
[ If he isn't allowed to leave, he wants to at least hold her so she cry this out in a better place. When she agrees and he can lean to kiss her cheek, he murmurs the words back warmly. ] I love you too. Please don't doubt that at least.
athena's never felt such her heart ache this much since simon was taken away from her when she was younger. the death of her own mother doesn't even compare to the pain she feels right now, and it sucks. she just wants to be with him and make him happy, but even though they've dropped the subject, she's still dwelling on it in the back of her mind.
at his request, she scoots closer to him and embraces him tightly, crying further into his chest. she really thought this was going to be a joyful reunion, but how wrong she was. ]
[ He lets her scoot over to where she wants, suiting where she wants to be rather than pulling her in any direction. He doesn't say anything else either though, just stares up at the ceiling as he wishes that maybe she'd fallen for someone else, someone who would keep her smiling all the time and didn't come with baggage and burdens.
Yet he keeps hugging her close, keeps kissing at her temple. It just seems to be making his heart worse though as the guilt finally catches up with him. ]
[ the crying eventually softens and stills into silence, and athena's just there on the couch not saying anything. not doing anything but breathing and hugging him. it may not be what he wants right now, but this is something she needs. it's fulfilling, in a way, to be surrounded by his warmth.
even if what she hears isn't as consoling.
but eventually, she spaces out and the exhaustion from crying too much and not getting much sleep from being kidnapped catches up to her. she passes out, arms still wrapped around him.
at least he knows she's having pleasant dreams thanks to the bracelet. he can leave now. :( ]
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When she's done, he shakes his head. ]
You have nothing to apologise for, but I'm-- [ He takes a deep breath, and he really doesn't want to leave while she's still upset either. But this isn't fair anymore, is it? ] --going to go for a bit. Not because of what you think, but I told you before that I'd write things down for you, didn't I?
It isn't fair that you have to keep having this blind faith in me. I should have only been happy you got back safely. It should have been the only emotion you could hear.
[ His heart is probably screaming out as he swallows tight. ]
I wish you could see I'm really not as good as you think I am. I want to be, I'm trying to be, but I'm not. What kind of person makes someone they love cry this much? [ It's brief, but his hand twitches and moves up slightly, as if he's going to reach for her face, but then it flops right back down again. ]
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this wasn't a fight by any means, but athena sure did fight for what she believed in. and she's going to continue doing it. if merlin was being selfish earlier, she sure is being selfish now.
a hand drops to tug on the end of his shirt. ]
Please don't go.
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It's a challenge for the both of them, but in the end it should hopefully make them stronger.
His hand slowly curls over hers and his eyes shut slowly. ] I don't want to, but... I don't want to keep upsetting you either.
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[ god, merlin, how many times are you going to make her cry today?
her grip on him only grows tighter, and she buries her face between her legs so he doesn't have to see the tears fall from her face. ]
I love you.
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This time he lets his hand move from hers to slide it through her hair. He's stopped trying to squash everything down now which is probably only making things worse. He just.
He doesn't know. ] Come here?
[ If he isn't allowed to leave, he wants to at least hold her so she cry this out in a better place. When she agrees and he can lean to kiss her cheek, he murmurs the words back warmly. ] I love you too. Please don't doubt that at least.
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athena's never felt such her heart ache this much since simon was taken away from her when she was younger. the death of her own mother doesn't even compare to the pain she feels right now, and it sucks. she just wants to be with him and make him happy, but even though they've dropped the subject, she's still dwelling on it in the back of her mind.
at his request, she scoots closer to him and embraces him tightly, crying further into his chest. she really thought this was going to be a joyful reunion, but how wrong she was. ]
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Yet he keeps hugging her close, keeps kissing at her temple. It just seems to be making his heart worse though as the guilt finally catches up with him. ]
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even if what she hears isn't as consoling.
but eventually, she spaces out and the exhaustion from crying too much and not getting much sleep from being kidnapped catches up to her. she passes out, arms still wrapped around him.
at least he knows she's having pleasant dreams thanks to the bracelet. he can leave now. :( ]