sortileges |

[ It's a give and take thing. Equivalent exchange. She'll get there eventually, and if it comes to it he'll let her be there for others and catch her at the end, when she can't support herself quite as well.

He keeps that to himself though, lets that topic die out as he leans forward, finally takes a piece of the cake and eats it. ] I never said anything about not respecting you.

Then you should have bowed when I came back earlier, [ she says, a mischievous smile on her face. it looks like she's been waiting to say this for a while, too. ]

But I'm kidding. Don't do that.

[ it's not like she knows what princessss do, anyway. she's been called "princess" many times, but it's only because she only got what she wanted before. ]

[ He glances at his hands, unable to stop smiling because of what he has in mind for later. Instead, he says: ] The first time I met Arthur I tried to punch him, I'm not very good at following the rules.

[ He reaches up, rubbing under his chin. ] Or maybe it's just authority.

Some people deserve it, even if they're in a high position.

[ just keeping it real here. ]

I mean, I had to grab a policeman by the arm to flip and throw him because he was being a jerk to me.

[ she also called a prosecutor an arrogant jerk while in court... so... you know... she totally gets it. (she still wants special treatment, though.) ]

He was bullying his servant at the time. [ Though... ah. ]

I wish I could say I managed that, sadly I got thrown in the cells and Gaius had to bail me out.

[ Yeah......... ]

[ her eyes just narrow at that. ah... ]

Is that why you got veggies thrown your way?

[ Why the judgement..... ]

No that was... [ a cringe ] the time after. Look, when I first met Arthur he was a huge prat. I couldn't stand him. He literally had no good qualities. People ought to be thanking me.

[ smh ]

[ there is no judgment here, nope...

curiously, she asks: ] And he's changed because of you?

[ this is nice. merlin telling her about what it's like where it's from. it's always a lot of fun getting to know her friends. ]

I actually don't really know for sure but... I'm one of the few people he opens up to now, I think. It's taken time but ... he also saved my life after I risked my life for his and I think that counts for something.

[ weirdo. ]

But i think Morgana and Guinevere have played a part in that too. Maybe Lancelot as well.

It sounds like he isn't so bad after all, even if he doesn't give you any breaks.

[ she can't help but smile at that. but she hides it by stuffing her mouth with cake. once she's swallowed: ]

Who are Guinevere and Lancelot?

He has ... some good qualities, I suppose. [ (eyeroll) ]

Guinevere is Morgana's maid. Lancelot is... [ He bites his lip, looks down at his hands as he clasps them. ] ...a dear friend. An incredibly honorable, honest person. He left the city. We found him again, but he isn't allowed back to Camelot.

[ He's clearly upset by this, honestly. ]

I doubt that will change until Arthur becomes King. Lancelot deserves to be a knight. He possesses every quality a knight should have, but because he wasn't born of noble birth it's impossible. I forged a certificate for him but... [ He takes a deep breath and just shakes his head. She should get the message. ]

[ her eyebrows twitch at the mention of forgery. surely circumstances back then were different, but where she's from, forgery is not to be taken lightly. especially in the court of law. and she's immediately reminded of professor means, one of the people she despises so much. but his reasons for falsifying evidence is different, though. it was for his self-gain.

merlin, on the other hand... his intentions seem different. ]

That's not right. [ she can't hide it. she's just not pleased with it. ] But I'm sure you meant well. Especially if he really deserves to be knighted.

[ He recognises it, of course he does, but this is one thing they will probably never agree on. ]

And it's right that he can't protect the Prince he wants to protect just because he wasn't born with more privileges than someone else? What about that is just?

[ uh huh ] I know it was wrong. But. It isn't fair.

[ she can't say anything now, so she thinks of ways to change the subject. she'd rather not argue with him over this. and actually, she'd rather not argue with him, of all people. he has a good heart, and that's what's important. ]

I'm sure Arthur will do something about it when he becomes king.

[ there???? was that good enough???? ]

[ It is for the right reasons, and it isn't as if a fair trial even exists in his time. There are only witness accounts, and he's seen first hand that a witchfinder used eyedrops to give women hallucinations of magic to get persecutions. To get paid. Disgusting. ]

I believe he will.

[ He goes quiet for a moment though, and he's just... sad. He can hide behind a million smiles, but it doesn't seem fair to do that now -- not when he can explain it. ]

Sorry. It's just. Lancelot is the only friend I have who knows the truth now. He knows my secret. Other than Gaius, I mean, but most of the time Gaius just tells me off for using magic.

[ no wonder lancelot sounds so important to him. she can't say she knows how it feels to have a friend like that, but she is literally empathising with him this very moment.

her hands make way for one of merlin's, and she cups it with both of hers. some tears fall down her face, feeling guilty and upset. at what, even she doesn't know. she's only crying because his sadness is resonating in her heart. ]

Don't apologise, Merlin!

[ He isn't close to crying, not like she seems to be anyway. He's just lonely. That's what it boils down to. Even if here he can surround himself with people who don't mind magic, or are even amazed by it, the fact remains that back home it's entirely different.

He never intended for Lancelot to find out, but there isn't a more worthy person. ]

I didn't mean to upset you as well, idiot... [ It's said softly, he pushes for a smile, but it aches. It's like how he wishes he could tell Morgana the truth. Let her know she isn't alone, because he knows how lonely she must be too but he shouldn't trust her. Kilgharrah's words are too firm on that. ]

I shouldn't have brought it up.

I'm not upset! [ yes she is, though... she also feels the loneliness he feels. damn her empathy... ] And don't call me an idiot, idiot.

[ she's a princess right now, and you're supposed to show respect! she smiles and wipes her tears with the back of her hand when he says he shouldn't have brought it up. ]

It's fine. You can tell me anything.

You're a terrible liar. [ Like he's one to talk... He flops sideways when she says that though, resting his cheek on his arm with almost... sulky expression? Amazing. ]

Not if it makes you like this.

[ Merlin it doesn't work that way....... ]

[ her sad expression turns into a pout and she pokes him on his cheek once. cheer up, sad koala. ]

I've always been like this. When people feel a strong emotion, I end up feeling it too.

I knew you could read it, but... [ Now he's just frustrated with himself. ] I'm just going to have to make it up to you, aren't I?

[ Thankfully not by stuffing cake into her mouth. Today is a Grown Up Day. (maybe) ]

Why do you have to make up for it?

[ she's seriously perplexed now. ]

It's not like you could control what you're feeling.

[ haha... hiding one's emotions is totally possible. athena would know. but merlin doesn't seem like anything like the phantom. his emotions are real and raw, and that's something to appreciate. ]

This. This was supposed to be a fun activity. [ Supposed to be. And really, she's still...

Yeah.

But he also has no idea why it's so important that he feels everything like he does anyway. He manages to suppress it most of the time for her sake, because she keeps getting worried. ]

I want to, if that's what happens when I don't. [ Though-- ] I have a better idea though.

[ He checks his watch, notes the time. ] Why don't we switch now? You can be the customer instead.

It's fine, [ she says as she pulls up a smile. ] I'm fine, see?

But if you want to switch now, we could do that. I should probably get changed first, though.

[ at least, that's what she thinks?? though she's cool with wearing the dress while they keep playing pretend. no biggie. ]

Showing me a smile doesn't necessarily mean you're fine. [ He stands up then, leaning with his fork to take one final piece of cake. ]

I'll be back shortly. You can... keep that on a little longer.

[ He turns on his heel and starts walking to the back, sending a smile over his shoulder, along with: ] It looks good on you.

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lancelot [wails]!!!!!!!

u thirsty

my love for lancelot can't be tamed....

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