sortileges |

[ Oh it will definitely backfire if after how he's acted here and one of them shows up--but he tries to not think about that. He'll deal with it when it happens. But.

His eyes drop. ] I'm not sure how she'd cope with a place like this. Not really.

[ It's so solemn in contrast to Athena's swooning. Soft. Sad, even. ]

[ it's then that the recent events come back to her. nobody's truly able to cope in this place, so merlin is probably right.

she puts a hand on the side of her head and rubs it, and then she looks to the side. cake sounds so good right now... just look at that rainbow cake by the counter-- ah, she's getting distracted again. but she feels like she wouldn't be able to control herself anyway. so she gets up and heads to the counter and grab a slice of cake.

this is fine. ]

It's-- weird, isn't it? Having to go back to normal after what's happened. And then we just wait for the next worst thing.

It's always scary to sleep. I don't want to wake up the next day sometimes; especially when something bad could happen when the sun rises.

[ He watches her get up to get the cake, going quiet. For him it isn't as weird as it might be for some others. Especially for those who lived a fairly normal life. Even with Athena's strange ability, the amount of danger she's been in probably hasn't compared. ]

I wouldn't know, not really. [ He rubs his thumb over the edge of the table. ] I've been in the middle of a forest, keeping watch while the others sleep. Been asleep while merely one man keeps watch of a group of us when we know there are creatures all around us that can kill us. Sometimes we're looking for an enemy. We've infiltrated enemy land and been taken prisoner.

[ He shifts in his seat. ] Though usually those things wouldn't affect someone like her. Or like you. [ He looks up at her, sympathetic. ] I'm sorry.

[ It isn't his fault really but... He still feels it. ]

[ she remains quiet until she walks back to her seat, letting the click of her heels echo through the room. though once she's ssated again and has offered a fork to merlin, she responds. ]

I'm fine with bad things happening to me. It's terrible, and it makes me shake in fear at times, but better me than anybody else.

[ she slices the cake with the side of her fork, and then she laughs sheepishly. ]

I've never told anybody this before.

You shouldn't be. You shouldn't have to be. [ He takes the fork, but he doesn't cut any of the cake yet. ] That's why I got so angry... when we were back there. In that place.

In future, I don't want you to think that way. If it happens to you, people will still be upset. [ I'll be upset. ] Hopefully in future we'll all be able to come up with ways to work together, even in different areas.

[ she can't help but think that way. she's tired of being protected, really. it's upsetting to her how she can't fight or she has no special powers or whatever. the only thing she has going for her is that she doesn't give up easily, her resilience.

she stabs the piece of cake she's sliced, though she doesn't put it in her mouth yet. ]

I just don't want others getting in trouble anymore. I'm-- [ fine... but that's a lie. ] I'll be fine, no matter what.

My boss told us to smile and never give up at the hardest of times, so I have to keep smiling and make sure the people around me are okay. [ and she doesn't want to make people upset, which is why she tends to hide what happens to her. in fact, her recent death was something she's only told a couple of people. ] But I'll try my best not to think that way. I know it's a skewed way of thinking.

[ she puts the cake in her mouth and smiles. there's nothing wrong going on here, nope. ]

[ It isn't the first he's heard of this lately. Rapunzel had told him the same thing. Lili had mentioned it too and there are probably others--but the important one is the person he's talking to now, because he's already said his opinion to the others. ]

You don't have to do it alone though. [ And she won't be fine, he's only known her a few weeks, but he's seen a vast variety of emotions from her, even on the same day. ] I'm not saying give up either, I doubt you'd be able to do that, but don't try and do everything on your own either.

[ He reaches out and bops her on the head with his fork. ]

Remember that, carrot head. [ Ah. ]

[ ah... merlin gets her. she frowns as she's hit, and she doesn't even flinch or react violently to it. ]

It's something I'm working on. [ she says gently, tapping the cake with the teeth of her fork. she doesn't look him in the eye when she says it, too. instead, she looks at the empty space next to merlin. she can't look him in the eye like this. not right now. ] I've just gotten used to doing things on my own, even when I was little. [ her mother died when she was eleven, after all. and it's not like there were a lot of kids in the cosmos space center that she was able to make a lot of friends. ]

Also, [ now she looks him in the eye, eyes soft. ] you shouldn't hit princesses.

Habits can be broken. [ Is the only thing he says softly after. ] I know it'll be difficult, but I promise it's better than trying to do everything by yourself. We're all in the same boat here, right?

[ Though hah... He can't help but grin at that. ] What should I do to princesses?

[ THIS ISN'T MEANT AS SUGGESTIVE AS IT SOUNDS ]

[ it is going to be difficult, and she's slowly working towards fixing it... maybe someday in the future, she'll learn to depend on people. but for now, she'll keep doing things on her own. there are people relying on her; she can't let them down. ]

I'll do what I can.

And you should respect them, of course. [ she'd say something about dancing because she'd really like to see him dance but she'd rather not get the dress damaged because he steps on it by accident.

and even hold her hand!! but ah... she'll contain herself. she really likes how warm he is, okok. ]

[ It's a give and take thing. Equivalent exchange. She'll get there eventually, and if it comes to it he'll let her be there for others and catch her at the end, when she can't support herself quite as well.

He keeps that to himself though, lets that topic die out as he leans forward, finally takes a piece of the cake and eats it. ] I never said anything about not respecting you.

Then you should have bowed when I came back earlier, [ she says, a mischievous smile on her face. it looks like she's been waiting to say this for a while, too. ]

But I'm kidding. Don't do that.

[ it's not like she knows what princessss do, anyway. she's been called "princess" many times, but it's only because she only got what she wanted before. ]

[ He glances at his hands, unable to stop smiling because of what he has in mind for later. Instead, he says: ] The first time I met Arthur I tried to punch him, I'm not very good at following the rules.

[ He reaches up, rubbing under his chin. ] Or maybe it's just authority.

Some people deserve it, even if they're in a high position.

[ just keeping it real here. ]

I mean, I had to grab a policeman by the arm to flip and throw him because he was being a jerk to me.

[ she also called a prosecutor an arrogant jerk while in court... so... you know... she totally gets it. (she still wants special treatment, though.) ]

He was bullying his servant at the time. [ Though... ah. ]

I wish I could say I managed that, sadly I got thrown in the cells and Gaius had to bail me out.

[ Yeah......... ]

[ her eyes just narrow at that. ah... ]

Is that why you got veggies thrown your way?

[ Why the judgement..... ]

No that was... [ a cringe ] the time after. Look, when I first met Arthur he was a huge prat. I couldn't stand him. He literally had no good qualities. People ought to be thanking me.

[ smh ]

[ there is no judgment here, nope...

curiously, she asks: ] And he's changed because of you?

[ this is nice. merlin telling her about what it's like where it's from. it's always a lot of fun getting to know her friends. ]

I actually don't really know for sure but... I'm one of the few people he opens up to now, I think. It's taken time but ... he also saved my life after I risked my life for his and I think that counts for something.

[ weirdo. ]

But i think Morgana and Guinevere have played a part in that too. Maybe Lancelot as well.

It sounds like he isn't so bad after all, even if he doesn't give you any breaks.

[ she can't help but smile at that. but she hides it by stuffing her mouth with cake. once she's swallowed: ]

Who are Guinevere and Lancelot?

He has ... some good qualities, I suppose. [ (eyeroll) ]

Guinevere is Morgana's maid. Lancelot is... [ He bites his lip, looks down at his hands as he clasps them. ] ...a dear friend. An incredibly honorable, honest person. He left the city. We found him again, but he isn't allowed back to Camelot.

[ He's clearly upset by this, honestly. ]

I doubt that will change until Arthur becomes King. Lancelot deserves to be a knight. He possesses every quality a knight should have, but because he wasn't born of noble birth it's impossible. I forged a certificate for him but... [ He takes a deep breath and just shakes his head. She should get the message. ]

[ her eyebrows twitch at the mention of forgery. surely circumstances back then were different, but where she's from, forgery is not to be taken lightly. especially in the court of law. and she's immediately reminded of professor means, one of the people she despises so much. but his reasons for falsifying evidence is different, though. it was for his self-gain.

merlin, on the other hand... his intentions seem different. ]

That's not right. [ she can't hide it. she's just not pleased with it. ] But I'm sure you meant well. Especially if he really deserves to be knighted.

[ He recognises it, of course he does, but this is one thing they will probably never agree on. ]

And it's right that he can't protect the Prince he wants to protect just because he wasn't born with more privileges than someone else? What about that is just?

[ uh huh ] I know it was wrong. But. It isn't fair.

[ she can't say anything now, so she thinks of ways to change the subject. she'd rather not argue with him over this. and actually, she'd rather not argue with him, of all people. he has a good heart, and that's what's important. ]

I'm sure Arthur will do something about it when he becomes king.

[ there???? was that good enough???? ]

[ It is for the right reasons, and it isn't as if a fair trial even exists in his time. There are only witness accounts, and he's seen first hand that a witchfinder used eyedrops to give women hallucinations of magic to get persecutions. To get paid. Disgusting. ]

I believe he will.

[ He goes quiet for a moment though, and he's just... sad. He can hide behind a million smiles, but it doesn't seem fair to do that now -- not when he can explain it. ]

Sorry. It's just. Lancelot is the only friend I have who knows the truth now. He knows my secret. Other than Gaius, I mean, but most of the time Gaius just tells me off for using magic.

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lancelot [wails]!!!!!!!

u thirsty

my love for lancelot can't be tamed....

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