--but no, he doesn't want to smush them up and upset her when she probably hasn't been living well the past 2 days. He doesn't know. Instead he just curls his arm tighter and pulls her in. He has to lean but it's fine to have to do that, as long as they can just stay like this for a moment.
In the end he just bites his lip and says: ] Don't. [ His voice cracks. ]
[ please don't, you spent so much on them, merlin :'(
but, ah, this has been the warmth she's been searching for for these past couple of days. rei might be her friend, and she did help athena feel better, but nothing really compares to merlin's warmth. merlin's embrace. merlin's pull.
[ It's fine... whatever. Thankfully he doesn't drop them, but he's having a hard time holding it together when he's exhausted beyond words both physically and mentally.
In fact, he doesn't even reply to her now, she'll just feel him trying to shake his head without pulling his face away.
While he tries to not cry into her hair like a giant loser. ]
[ He takes a deep breath, pulling back enough to look at her, face straight having successfully held all of that back. His eyes are dark undernea and red around the edges though, and his hair is probably all over the place. In fact, his probably buttoned up his shirt wrong at this point.
Basically this is the biggest mess she would have ever seen him. ]
Macarons. [ He says it softly before holding out the box to her, but when he looks down he doesn't really remember it being that big of a box. Ah... ]
[ he really does look and seem like a mess, even the sound of his heart doesn't sound like the usual kind of music athena hears and it's her fault. she doesn't know what kind of trouble he went through, but she can tell from the dissonance that it looks like he's gone through a lot.
when he pulls away to hand the box to her, she looks at the box cluelessly. oh, right, she did ask for macarons, didn't she?
she takes the box with one hand and takes his with her other and leads him inside. ]
[ How was it her fault? She wasn't a dummy who turned on a robot, that was Rei. Yet, he can't be mad at her either. The only people it's easy to feel mad at (though somehow he hasn't even been able to reach the same kind of anger lately either, dulled down and calm anger is the best he's managed and that doesn't keep you trucking along) are CERES as a whole.
It doesn't bode well for the future, does it?
He stays quiet as she takes the box though, letting their hands entwine, his own squeezing lightly as he just feels the contact.
At her question, he just shakes his head, though his mouth does twitch into the faintest of smiles. ]
Take a seat, [ she says, and she lets go of his hand for a while to head to the kitchen.
there sure are a lot of macarons in this box, and she has to put some on a plate and the rest in the fridge. merlin may have said that he doesn't want anything, but she's serving him a glass of water, anyway. and for herself, a glass of orange juice. iced.
she comes back to the living area with the tray of snacks and she serves them on the coffee table. ]
[ He does sit down while she heads to the kitchen at least. His head tips to rest against the couch but he slouches more than sits properly. By the time Athena does come back though she'll find that his head is starting to roll to the side a bit and his eyes are starting to shut. He doesn't even have the energy to jump when she returns, though he does slide his eyes open to look at her. ]
I forgot how comfortable not sitting on the floor was.
[ she looks at him with concern... maybe she should just let him sleep here? athena isn't particularly sleepy right now, but she could use some rest, too. that would be nice. but macarons are nice, too.
she takes a seat next to him and grabs one of the throw pillows to embrace it. ]
[ He tried every method he could think of to track her??? What did she think he did when she was taken? He frowns slightly then but his hand moves up to curl around the end of her hair, twisting it through his fingers. ]
That isn't... [ He takes a deep breath. ] It doesn't matter now, I'm just glad you're safe.
[ If you're comfortable you're more likely to fall asleep while reading :( ]
It's fine. If I fall asleep eventually, I do. I don't want to plan to do it.
[ Then his hand slides up, fingers brushing over her cheek for a moment. It's like he's too tired to realise he's even doing it, as though he's testing she's actually real at the same time. ]
[ she leans her face into his touch, feeling the warmth of his palm on her cheek. moments later, she cups his palm with hers.
"it's okay", she wants to tell him, but at the same time, she feels that he's heard enough of that already for the day. so she just gives him a reassuring smile without saying anything.
she will get him a blanket later on, though. just saying. ]
[ That makes him smile a little more though, his own hand warm between her cheek and her hand. It twitches slightly before he slides it a little until his thumb can trace the edge of her lip; yet, when he actually leans closer, he kisses her forehead instead. His head drops to rest against hers and he can tell she's holding back in trying to reassure him as well.
It's more that she doesn't really understand that it's the first time he's felt powerless though. He might have struggled through everything at home but it still worked in the end. Nothing he tried against Rei's robot's powers actually worked though. ]
[ until he says something, then she really won't get it. but it's so nice like this. a lone tear falls off her cheek, but it's nothing out of sadness. she's just really happy right now. now that he's relieved; now that she's home; and now that she's with him. ]
[ Sorry, it's hard to admit that when you're stubborn as fuck. His other hand reaches up to wipe that away. His eyes shut after though, not to sleep, but to just breathe and remember what it's like to do that without his lungs feeling tight.
It probably sounds like a rocky mess as he fights with his own issues here too, though he's trying to squash that down as well so there's only the relief and happiness that she's okay--
the only problem is that there's this echoing voice of this time in the back of his head as well.
It takes a long minute before he pulls back, letting his hands slide so he's holding hers, the other just flopping on his lap. ]
[ she does want a snack... a little bit, but she'd really like to hear merlin's heart beat the same way she knows it usually does. when he's happy. when he's thrilled. the sound is terribly different now, even though she does take solace on the fact that it's his. ]
I'll share, don't worry, [ she says jokingly. ] Chocolate?
[ When he's more comfortable with the idea himself, maybe he'll say it. Right now though, it's going to be caught under the surface, bubbling up a little. ]
...Did I even get chocolate? [ He doesn't......... even remember. ] Whichever is fine though, I don't feel hungry.
[ ah... this is the boob she knows, at least. or she barely knows, anyway.
she kneels on the couch and leans forward to kiss him on the lips. when she pulls away, she smiles and laughs, offering him a chocolate macaron. ]
You should eat. It looks like you've barely eaten.
[ or slept, for that matter. athena should probably point out that his shirt's all weird... maybe she should fix it, but that's probably the least of merlin's concern right now. ]
[ It helps though, amazingly enough. He seems to relax from that type of contact all on his own and somehow manages to push the nastier thoughts down to some other level so he can deal with it later. ]
...I forgot.
[ He takes the macaron without another word though, but it's hard to eat it quickly. He ends up having to just nibble at it over time. ]
[ that hurts to hear, because she'd really like it if merlin was 100% Okay... or at least 90%??? whatever, man. for him to forget the necessities because of her-- it hurts, but she's able to keep smiling, anyway.
she's a bit of a contradiction on her own. she has no control over her own emotions, but at the same time, she's really good at hiding how she truly feels.
looks like they'll both just eat macarons in peace. athena likely a bit faster than him in finishing one. ]
[ Look, if you were the most powerful person you knew and that was easily stamped all over, you'd feel pretty down too!!! But it's a bit difficult to admit that when you a) don't want to sound like a prick and b) don't want to admit you were useless. Gosh.
Though she'll probably finish a few before he even gets half way through his, and in the end he takes the half bitten piece and slides it against her lip instead. ]
It's too sweet. [ Really, he hasn't eaten enough to go to something this high in sugar, sorry love. ]
[ her lips curl into a pout, but she ends up biting on the macaron, anyway. she wishes she thought this through some more. when she got tortured by the ceres police, simon wasn't exactly beating himself up over it. she's not sure how to deal with something like this. then again, simon isn't as sensitive as this boob, so.
once she's eaten the rest of his macaron, she just looks at him filled with concern. for someone who's a master of psychology and counsels people for a living, she has no idea how to fix this. it's making her heart sink because of it, and widget makes it known by projecting a sad face on its screen.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I wasn't hurt at all, but I'm sorry for making you worry.
no subject
--but no, he doesn't want to smush them up and upset her when she probably hasn't been living well the past 2 days. He doesn't know. Instead he just curls his arm tighter and pulls her in. He has to lean but it's fine to have to do that, as long as they can just stay like this for a moment.
In the end he just bites his lip and says: ] Don't. [ His voice cracks. ]
no subject
but, ah, this has been the warmth she's been searching for for these past couple of days. rei might be her friend, and she did help athena feel better, but nothing really compares to merlin's warmth. merlin's embrace. merlin's pull.
merlin's heart. ]
Don't?
no subject
In fact, he doesn't even reply to her now, she'll just feel him trying to shake his head without pulling his face away.
While he tries to not cry into her hair like a giant loser. ]
no subject
I'm fine... I promise.
no subject
Basically this is the biggest mess she would have ever seen him. ]
Macarons. [ He says it softly before holding out the box to her, but when he looks down he doesn't really remember it being that big of a box. Ah... ]
no subject
when he pulls away to hand the box to her, she looks at the box cluelessly. oh, right, she did ask for macarons, didn't she?
she takes the box with one hand and takes his with her other and leads him inside. ]
Do you want anything?
no subject
It doesn't bode well for the future, does it?
He stays quiet as she takes the box though, letting their hands entwine, his own squeezing lightly as he just feels the contact.
At her question, he just shakes his head, though his mouth does twitch into the faintest of smiles. ]
no subject
there sure are a lot of macarons in this box, and she has to put some on a plate and the rest in the fridge. merlin may have said that he doesn't want anything, but she's serving him a glass of water, anyway. and for herself, a glass of orange juice. iced.
she comes back to the living area with the tray of snacks and she serves them on the coffee table. ]
no subject
I forgot how comfortable not sitting on the floor was.
no subject
she takes a seat next to him and grabs one of the throw pillows to embrace it. ]
You have chairs and a bed at home, Merlin.
[ what exactly did he do while she was away??? ]
no subject
That isn't... [ He takes a deep breath. ] It doesn't matter now, I'm just glad you're safe.
[ He's just feeling sorry for himself tbh. ]
no subject
Do you want me to get you a blanket? You can sleep here.
[ she's not kidding. ]
no subject
It's fine. If I fall asleep eventually, I do. I don't want to plan to do it.
[ Then his hand slides up, fingers brushing over her cheek for a moment. It's like he's too tired to realise he's even doing it, as though he's testing she's actually real at the same time. ]
no subject
"it's okay", she wants to tell him, but at the same time, she feels that he's heard enough of that already for the day. so she just gives him a reassuring smile without saying anything.
she will get him a blanket later on, though. just saying. ]
no subject
It's more that she doesn't really understand that it's the first time he's felt powerless though. He might have struggled through everything at home but it still worked in the end. Nothing he tried against Rei's robot's powers actually worked though. ]
no subject
no subject
It probably sounds like a rocky mess as he fights with his own issues here too, though he's trying to squash that down as well so there's only the relief and happiness that she's okay--
the only problem is that there's this echoing voice of this time in the back of his head as well.
It takes a long minute before he pulls back, letting his hands slide so he's holding hers, the other just flopping on his lap. ]
Sorry, you wanted macarons, right?
no subject
I'll share, don't worry, [ she says jokingly. ] Chocolate?
no subject
...Did I even get chocolate? [ He doesn't......... even remember. ] Whichever is fine though, I don't feel hungry.
[ Even though........ he's barely eaten....... ]
no subject
she kneels on the couch and leans forward to kiss him on the lips. when she pulls away, she smiles and laughs, offering him a chocolate macaron. ]
You should eat. It looks like you've barely eaten.
[ or slept, for that matter. athena should probably point out that his shirt's all weird... maybe she should fix it, but that's probably the least of merlin's concern right now. ]
no subject
...I forgot.
[ He takes the macaron without another word though, but it's hard to eat it quickly. He ends up having to just nibble at it over time. ]
no subject
she's a bit of a contradiction on her own. she has no control over her own emotions, but at the same time, she's really good at hiding how she truly feels.
looks like they'll both just eat macarons in peace. athena likely a bit faster than him in finishing one. ]
no subject
Though she'll probably finish a few before he even gets half way through his, and in the end he takes the half bitten piece and slides it against her lip instead. ]
It's too sweet. [ Really, he hasn't eaten enough to go to something this high in sugar, sorry love. ]
no subject
once she's eaten the rest of his macaron, she just looks at him filled with concern. for someone who's a master of psychology and counsels people for a living, she has no idea how to fix this. it's making her heart sink because of it, and widget makes it known by projecting a sad face on its screen.
if he's going to sulk, then she's sulking, too. ]
(no subject)
I ALMOST TAGGED YOU AS YATA AGAIN... sweats
ah dates yata instead then i guess?!?!?!
oh ok :(
8(
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)